Breaking Through
by evoix
Summary: Can Ela get through Alibi's well-crafted defenses, while also learning to let down her own? My first full-length fic.


"Rise and shine, lads and lasses!" Mike's loud voice jerked me awake. Blinding sunlight shone in through the window, even though the clock only read 5:01. I sat up on my elbows and looked at myself in the mirror beside my bed. _Fuck, I'm a mess._ My hair was completely messed up, sticking out in a million places. And my clothes were a wreck too, with my tank top sliding off both shoulders, barely clinging on to my chest. I looked through the bathroom that connected my room with Zofia's and watched her get ready. Thatcher had woken everyone up an hour early today, but Zofia was already awake; on a normal day, she woke up at 4:30. Everything about her was tidy; her short, brown hair, her neatly pressed clothes, and she never, ever forgot anything. I used to hate it, but now that I've spent some time with my sister again and have learned to live with her, I kind of admire it. _Maybe one day._

She looked over at me and caught my stare. She giggled and smiled. "Good morning, Ela," she said in a warm voice. She seemed oddly happy today.

"Morning, Zo," I responded, my voice still raspy from tiredness. I dragged myself out of bed, changing into a sports bra and heading into the bathroom.

As I attempted to comb the green bird's nest I call my hair, Zofia said, "You should make yourself look presentable. The new guys are coming today."

 _Oh, fuck, that's what this is about._ I grunted in response. I was never one for talking, socializing, or meeting new people. It's taxing; more so than spending hours in the gym for me. The psychologist I used to go to said I had "social anxiety", which, frankly, is complete bullshit. I just don't like people. End of story.

I finished getting ready and dressed, walking to the mess hall alongside Zofia.

"Where are these guys from?" I asked.

"Italy," Zofia responded with a strange glint in her eyes. Perhaps she's always wanted to go to Italy or something.

I scoffed internally. I knew all the stereotypes of Italians. "They're probably just gonna be a couple of hairy-"

I stopped talking as we got to the mess hall. The two new operators had already been introduced, and everyone else was clapping. Zofia and I stepped into the crowd and followed along. One of them was exactly what I was expecting: A tall, burly man with a thick beard. He went by the codename Maestro. The other one, however, was different. It was a woman, codenamed Alibi, standing around six inches shorter than the man. She had dark, smooth skin, and eyes that, under her tinted goggles, looked green. Everything about her caught my eye, but it was mostly her smile. Her smile was pretty, humble, and confident, and I could tell that it was 100% fake. It was the exact same smile I wore when I was inducted.

 _Wow, I have something in common with someone. Maybe this person won't be so bad._ As the applause died down and Maestro went to socialize with the other operators, Alibi went swiftly towards the exit. _Shit, I have to say something._

I speedwalked to the exit and cut her off. "Hi!" I said, my cheery tone throwing myself off. _Why does this feel so weird?_ She looked up at me, clearly frustrated that I was blocking her path. I would have taken the hint, but something inside me made me persist. "I'm Ela, both my codename and my real name." The annoyed look stayed on her face. Slightly dejected that my attempts at conversation were going nowhere, I kept going. I hushed my tone and said, "I just wanted to say…I know how you felt today. I felt the same way."

I was hoping for some sign of relief from Alibi, but instead, she eyed me up and down as if she were trying to figure me out. "Nobody else talked to me. Why are you?" Alibi finally talked to me. Her voice was smooth, and sounded like the audial equivalent of milk chocolate.

I racked my brain, tried to find an answer to her question, but there was no answer outside of the obvious, which I wasn't about to tell her. I could feel my face becoming hot as I started to sweat.

Alibi scoffed angrily after I avoided her question. "I don't need your fucking pity," she said, pushing me aside as she left the room. _Why...why can't I just talk to people?_ I left through the other exit and swiftly went to my room, pushing back tears.

* * *

Back in my dorm, I curled up into a ball on my bed, my entire body shaking violently. The pillow I hugged so tightly to suppressed my loud crying. It was just one little thing, and yet, it felt like my entire world was crashing down on top of me.

Suddenly, I heard Zofia's door open. I quickly wiped my face with my sleeve and flipped the pillow to the side that wasn't soaked with tears. I feigned sleep as Zofia shut the door behind her, but my shaking and red eyes must have given it away that I was crying.

"Ela? Ela, what's wrong?" Zofia said, sitting down on the bed next to me. I sat up against the head of my bed.

"Why…" I sniffled. "Why can't I just talk to people? Why can't I just be fucking normal?!" My voice started to crack as I pounded my fist against the stone wall beside my bed. "Why am I like this, Zofia?" I said softly, looking into my older sister's eyes.

She looked back at me, clearly devastated to see me like this. Out of the blue, she hugged me tight, tighter than I'd ever been hugged by anyone before. "Ela…" she started. "Ela, you're a special forces soldier. You're strong, and you're persistent. I know things will be okay for you. And if not for that reason…" Zofia paused before continuing. "I'm your sister. I've been with you through thick and thin, and I watched you grow up. We might not have gotten along very well, but…" Now Zofia seemed like she was about to get emotional. "I've seen you become this...amazingly independent person. You built this life from the ground up. You went to a civilian high school and worked with Meghan in Iraq. You didn't use the same crutches that I did, and I admire that. I wish I had half the talent you do, Ela. And because of that, I know that if I could get into this program, then you...shit, you can do anything, Ela."

Her talk was so emotional, and a little cliche at times, but it was still really comforting. I finally returned my sister's embrace.

"C'mon," Zofia said, pulling away, "Go get something to eat. I know you didn't eat anything yesterday." Normally, I would have hated this kind of tone from Zofia, but I knew she was right, and I went to the mess hall to grab some breakfast.

* * *

I walked through the halls, eventually meandering into the mess hall and filling my tray with whatever dull food was served. _Whatever, it's nutrition._ I went and sat down, finding some solace in sitting with my only true friend in the entirety of Rainbow. However, I must have shown some signs of sadness, because she instantly knew something was wrong.

"Uh-oh...what's wrong, Ela?" Meghan said.

Immediately my mind flashed back to what happened earlier, the thing I had been trying to take my mind off of since. My thoughts started to cloud in anger at myself. "All I wanted was to talk to her. Is this what I get? Is this what happens _the one time_ I try to talk to anybody? What the fuck is wrong with me, Meghan?" I vented. My eyes welled up with bitter tears. _Why am I so emotional today?_

"Oh, Ela…" Meghan's voice was soft as she wrapped her tattooed arms around me. I clung onto them with my hands in return. "I'm sure you and...whoever it is you're talking about just got off on the wrong foot. You're a good person, Ela. And if they can't see that, then...screw them."

I knew she was just trying to make me feel better, but that last statement infuriated me. I tried to control my anger and keep myself from taking it out on my best friend.

"No, she's not like that, she's––she's like me. I know how she feels. She's––" I stopped talking as Alibi caught my eye, walking away from the breakfast line with a tray of food. With her beret ditched and goggles off, I could see her face in its entirety. _Holy shit, she's beautiful._ Her eyes were green, like I thought, but they shone in a brilliant hue that I never thought a person could have. And her hair...it looked so soft and so thick, and all I wanted was to run my fingers through it. She was looking around at all the tables when I realized that all of them were full...except me and Meghan's. Though she was too far away for me to hear over the typical mess hall banter, I could tell she was sighing by the flustered look that followed as she walked over.

A brief giggle from Meghan broke my tunnel vision as she got up to leave. _What the hell? You're just going to leave me like this?_ I glared at her. _Wait, there's still food on her plate-_

My train of thought crashed as Alibi sat down. No greeting, but no insults or anger either. She looked almost pained. It was this weird silence as she just ate and I tried not to get too caught up in her. After several minutes, I finally mustered up the courage to say something.

"It wasn't pity earlier that made me want to talk to you."

"Then why?" she said, raising her voice. _Shit._ "There was nobody else who wanted to talk to me in that entire room, and yet you, the last person I would ever expect to talk to anyone, is talking to me like you're––like you're my fucking mother!" If looks could kill, my blood would be covering every surface in the mess hall. I instinctively looked away from her glare. I wanted to hide, to run, to shrink up into a tiny little ball...but I had to say something.

"I..." I started, then quickly realized I didn't know what to say. _C'mon, Ela, think...oh, fuck it, I'll just wing it._ "I don't know what made me want to talk to you earlier. I guess I saw through your smile, and I saw a little of myself in you, and…I don't know, I didn't want you to turn out like I did. All angry and alone, burning bridges faster than you can make them." A brief image of Zofia flashed through my mind. _That...actually went really well._ She wasn't glaring at me anymore, but rather looking down at the table in thought. She seemed like she really wanted to say something, but didn't.

"Hey," I said, not wanting to end our first real conversation on such a weird note. "I never got your name."

"Aria," she replied curtly. _I like that name. It...fits her._

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Aria," I said. _I think that's the first time I've ever said that to anyone._

She maintained her contemplative look, but kept silent. I sighed, partly in relief that she wasn't furious with me, and partly in sadness that she didn't want to talk with me. I finished my food and left the table.

* * *

I walked mindlessly among the hustle and bustle of typical Hereford life. I figured I'd head back to my room and fill a few pages of my sketchbook. As I walked past empty dorm after empty dorm, I came across Maxim and Tina standing in the former's doorway. I generally was fine with the other trappers, but today, something about them bugged me. I couldn't put my finger on it for the life of me, but there was this dull, burning feeling in the back of my mind that irritated me. I kept going toward my dorm, trying to ignore that feeling.

When I finally was ready to start drawing, my mind completely blanked. It was like all of my creative spark was gone, and in its place was that damn burning in the back of my head. It was giving me a throbbing headache trying to come up with ideas. I needed something mindless, something to clear my mind.

I went to the workshop and began tinkering with a Grzmot mine, trying to tweak the compression of the gas canister inside it without over-pressurizing it. Hopefully this would result in a potentially smaller, lower-profile mine with the same amount of power. I knew what I had to do; no artist's block to slow me down. I worked smoothly until I noticed some of the people around me. Mei Lin and Kessikbayev were sitting at one table, working side-by-side in silence. An odd pair, but clearly content with each other's company. The irritating burning started again. At another table was Elias, who was telling jokes to Monika, who was trying to work on her RED. Even still, I could tell they were both happy. The feeling was becoming painful now; infuriating. Then I looked at the empty seat across from me. I knew exactly what this stinging emotion was, but I didn't want to admit it.

Suddenly, in my anger, I accidentally set off my own Grzmot. Having experience with these kinds of shockwaves, I brushed it off, but the ears of everyone else in the room were definitely ringing. They looked at me with faces that ranged from anger to disappointment. Even Elias, the most genuinely nice guy I knew, was looking at me with contempt. I took the hint and left, leaving everyone else to their work. _I need to blow off some steam._

I changed into my workout clothes and headed into the gym, finding the nearest punching bag. I started out with slow, controlled punches. However, as I thought back to all that happened today, I let my fury take over. My form got sloppier as I put more and more force behind each punch, wanting for nothing but domination over this inanimate object.

Suddenly, there was loud cheering on the other side of the gym, taking my attention away from the punching bag.

"Wow, even Seamus! Alibi wins again!" Jordan said, holding up Aria's hand. She was clearly uninterested in whatever she was taking part in, but apparently she was doing pretty damn good at it. Jordan then turned to me. "Hey, nobody's ever beaten Ela, right?" Jordan asked. Craig shook his head in response, pressing an ice pack against his right temple. "C'mon, Ela, come spar with Aria!" Jordan called over.

"I'm fine, really," I said, but the Americans wouldn't have it.

"Come on, Ela, it'll be fun," Eliza said, putting her hand on my shoulder and escorting me to the crowd. I sighed and wrapped my hands as the others placed bets on who would win. Then, a realization came to me: I didn't want to fight Aria. I never thought I'd ever have to lay a hostile hand on that face I liked so much.

I wasn't given much time to think before Jordan said "Go!"

I started out with weak, easily blockable punches. I heard murmurs on the sidelines as I clearly struggled to land hits. I didn't care for this fight; I was pulling my punches, hoping for a quick defeat.

Aria, however, was not.

She came full-force right at my nose, making me stumble backwards. The amount of force a woman that size could produce scared me. I started trying to dodge her hits, but couldn't. She wasn't only stronger, but also lighter and more agile. Even though I wasn't attempting to hit her, I was shocked that she was beating me this badly. Then, she started to play dirty: she gave me a left hook right in the boob. _What the hell is she doing?_ I gave her a shocked expression as she smirked in return. Not necessarily a boastful or cocky smirk, but a look that gave the impression that she was genuinely having fun. She used my surprise as an opportunity to pounce. She got me on the ground, straddling my waist with her hips, using her elbows to pin down my arms. Were it not for the horrible pain she was inflicting in my triceps, I wouldn't mind being in this position, but I tapped out nonetheless. She stood up as money was handed from person to person, leaving me lying on the floor in pain.

I eventually hauled myself back to my room to change, and the rest of the day went by with a relative lack of anything interesting.

* * *

I couldn't fall asleep that night; there was something on my mind that I couldn't quite shake. It felt different from my usual insomnia, and I had to do something to get rid of it. I grabbed my Scorpion EVO, a suppressor, and a box of subsonic 9mm ammunition that Taina had given to me, and headed to the firing range.

Shot after shot went out in near silence, with the loudest sounds being the bullet hitting the back wall after penetrating the cardboard target and the clattering of casings against the floor. I was firing in semi-auto mode, so my shots landed perfectly in the center of the target. I finished the magazine, checked the chamber, and turned to go to the table to load in a new one when I noticed Aria standing in the doorway. She was wearing very little; a pair of shorts that were definitely way too small and a slate gray sports bra were the only things covering her smooth skin. Her dark brown hair was messy, but it was less of a bedhead and more of a windswept look that fit her beautifully.

"Oh, it's you," she said, breaking my focus.

"What do you mean 'Oh, it's me'?" I retorted.

"I just wanted to know who woke me up," she replied plainly. _Wait...her room's pretty damn far from the range. There's no way anyone could hear me, let alone her…_

I gave her the benefit of the doubt and loaded a fresh mag into my Scorpion, racking the charging handle. I put the fire selector into full-auto and started shooting at the target. My first ten or so shots landed relatively close to the center, but I started to spray all over the place. I let out a frustrated grunt as I slammed the gun down on the table with a louder thud than I had intended.

"What?" Aria said, sitting in a chair behind me.

"I'm just…I don't know if I'm in a funk or something, or I'm doing something wrong, but I just can't control this thing full-auto like I used to."

"Show me how you hold it." I was surprised to see her trying to help me after how she'd treated me today, but not unpleasantly so. I tried to replicate the way I held my gun as accurately as I could.

"Your grip's off," Aria said. "Here, let me show you how to hold it." I prepared to hand my weapon to her, but instead, she chose a more...unorthodox method. She came up behind me and adjusted my hands with hers, but because of her smaller stature, it made it kind of difficult for her. There was a lot more skin-on-skin than was necessary, but I liked the feeling of her hands on mine, and especially the feeling of her breasts against my back. I could feel my face becoming hot, and I was definitely blushing bright red. She took a long time making minuscule adjustments, likely longer than she needed to, but she stepped back afterwards and said "Try shooting with your hands like that." I slid in a fresh magazine and started to spray bullets at the target. The muzzle climb was a lot more predictable, and it was much easier to land shots closer to the target.

"Wow, thank you!" I said, turning on my heel towards Aria. It seemed like she was smiling for a split second, but that quickly disappeared as her eyes locked onto the floor.

"You're welcome," she said in a quiet voice. Her cheeks seemed slightly red. _I think I'm finally starting to get past her defenses._

It was then that I noticed Aria staring at me, and realizing that I had forgotten to get dressed before coming to the range. Thankfully I had decided to put a bra on under my top, otherwise Aria would have seen much more than she bargained for. "I should probably go get a sweatshirt or something…" I mumbled to myself.

"No!" Aria exclaimed, which was quickly followed by the sound of her sucking her teeth in regret. "I mean...you...look...nice...in that…" she said, her voice growing softer with every word. Something about that made me smile, much more than a normal compliment would. _She's so damn cute._

She sighed, relaxing the muscles that had been so tense since she came to the range. She seemed as if she was giving up.

"Hey…" she said, interrupting my train of thought. "Can we...go back to my room? I want to talk...in private." she said, struggling to maintain eye contact. She clearly wasn't used to this, which I understood perfectly. I wasn't, either.

"Uhh...yeah, sure," I replied, still somewhat dumbfounded that she asked me that. I was more than willing to comply; I admit that her clothing (or more accurately, lack thereof) gave me some ulterior motives.

* * *

Her room was barren, almost completely clear of any customization, save for a lone Italian flag above her headboard. She sat down on the edge of her bed, and I sat beside her. There was a pained expression on her face.

"Listen, Ela, I…" she started, struggling to get her words out. "I want to apologize for how I acted earlier. I…I really, really like you, Ela." I was ecstatic, but tears were welling up in her eyes. "You don't deserve the things I said to you. You talked to me when no one else did. You're so kind…and I was so mean to you…" Her voice cracked as she spoke as tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I'm horrible. I'm so sorry…" She put her head in her hands as sobs racked her chest.

I didn't know what to do; I'd never dealt with anyone crying before. However, there was one person in my life who would: Zofia. I tried my best to swallow my pride and do what she would do. I moved closer to her and took her into my arms. "Hey, hey, hey…you're not a bad person, Aria…" I said, hugging her tightly to my chest. Her body still shook violently as she cried. I hated seeing her like this. "We're all flawed. That's what makes us people. If I ever learned one thing from being a stubborn little shit to my sister, it's that love…love is unconditional. Love…sees through the flaws." I leaned way in to whisper in her ear, "And I love you, Aria." By now, her cries had been reduced to sniffles and the occasional catch in her breath, but she was returning my embrace. I looked down at her and she was smiling a smile brighter and more beautiful than I'd ever seen before.

"Do you really mean that?"

"More than you could ever know."


End file.
